so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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