there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
