Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
