Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
