Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My pussy is not your playground.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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