he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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