I understand Curling. That high.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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