I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
