Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
