just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she told me i tasted like america
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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