I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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