So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
