see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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