They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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