So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
