If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
