The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
