yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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