lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
