found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
