It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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