i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
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at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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