i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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