Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
