you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
how can u be prego again
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
