I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
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He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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