All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've blown a few things in my day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
