My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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