Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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