Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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