I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
