Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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