I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
