sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize