Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize