Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
