I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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