Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
