SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
