Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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