i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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