This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
