I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
