His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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