i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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