I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
