If i come over, it means nothing
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
