I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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