just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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