Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
