Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Someone signed my nipple.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
