Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just had sex on a roof
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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