Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
