dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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