I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
