hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
