I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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