Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
