That's intense
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
