i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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